Day 1
Deprived of sleep, we went through immigration, and the visa attendant seemed utterly thrilled (and by thrilled, we mean he appeared as joyful as a man who had just been diagnosed with a rare case of super-haemorrhoids). Sarah had done her research and knew that Vietnam requires proof of onward travel, so we had sneakily made use of onewayfly, a website that provides you with a legitimate ticket for 48 hours before it gets cancelled once you’re through immigration. Much to Sarah’s dismay, no one asked for nor cared about evidence of a flight out. She was bitterly disappointed that her cheeky, clandestine ticket scheme had gone to waste!
No one was concerned about the contents of our bags either. We simply walked out! NOT THAT WE HAD ANYTHING SUSPICIOUS OR OTHERWISE QUESTIONABLE. STOP ASKING US ABOUT IT.
Upon entering the taxi, we looked for the seatbelts, which were nowhere to be found. As we glanced around, the driver waved his finger and, with a sly smirk, said, “No, no, no. Vietnam”. That’s right, folks! Automotive safety is considered super lame in Vietnam, and you will be shamed should you show weakness and use a seatbelt. In fact, it’s almost a custom to remove airbags and throw them at tourists as a form of sport.
We arrived at the hotel 4 hours before check-in. Once again, we needed to entertain ourselves on no sleep. And so, after dropping off our bags, we did the only sane thing to do at 10 am in Hanoi; Phở hunting! Fortunately, the first place we stumbled upon was a Michelin-recognised Phở restaurant, Pho 10 Ly Quoc Su. (Yes, it was delicious.)
After lunch, we continued our exploration and came upon a remarkable cathedral (Nhà Thờ Lớn Hà Nội, aka St. Joseph Cathedral) in the old city. It was quite astounding to find such an impressive European structure deep in the middle of the Hanoian warren. Tosh was very impressed by the shops, particularly the unique craft shops. One sold wooden versions of classic board games (Monopoly, Cluedo…and others), The Craft House Cathedral. As we ventured a little further, we walked into a small garden where a kind elderly Vietnamese man sitting on a bench introduced himself and briefly spoke with us about Hanoi and growing up there.
After our quick adventure, Sarah, having eyed massage parlours like a ravished hyena, made it a top priority to get one that very day. (Well deserved, mind you.) Unfortunately, Sarah experienced the worst massage of her life. The ‘masseuse’ decided to take her phone out HALFWAY THROUGH THE MASSAGE and play music. Not relaxing spa music – pop and hip hop! She then proceeded to watch videos (which Sarah is pretty sure were how-to massage videos). Let’s not start on the quality of the massage itself. The masseuse then had THE NERVE to demand a tip. After a long flight and no sleep, Sarah was not to be trifled with. No tip was given, but frank feedback was delivered.
Tosh was in a similar mindset, but he replaced massages and spas with coffee and cafés. This may (or may not) surprise you, but Hanoi has a lot of cafés…and really really nice ones. They put Melbourne to shame. Tosh visited Blackbird Coffee and knocked out a blog post on his favourite topics…Energy and AI. Nerdy? Yes. Unnecessary? Absolutely. But, at least his experience was far more satisfactory than Sarah’s!
We lost contact briefly due to Tosh not keeping an eye on the time…no comment from Tosh… but we found each other and checked in and saw the room. Tosh was surprised by the size of the bathroom. Namely, the shoilet. Which we have now come to appreciate is not the worst…but certainly not the best type of bathroom configuration. Perhaps a toiler might be worse?
We wound down with an episode of Avatar: The Last Airbender (determined to finish it again over this year) and, after a nap, we headed out for dinner at another Michelin-recognised street restaurant. It was delicious Bun Cha Dac Kim.
Day 2
We were staying in a café/hostel, so after waking up, we went downstairs and enjoyed a great cup of coffee and tea. Sarah avoided the gaze of the masseuse across the road and then we went for our breakfast banh mi at a little stall near the cathedral. After breakfast, it was time to really get to exploring. We were becoming more familiar with the crossing etiquette. Eyes forward, walk calmly…and scream internally.
We continued on to Hoàn Kiếm Lake and walked around. Apparently, it’s common for people to take lots of photos of themselves in their finest outfits for Tet (WE ARE STILL DOWN WITH THE LINGO) as part of welcoming the new year, so there were tonnes of professional photographers by the water. Hoàn Kiếm Lake also contains the Ngoc Son Temple, a Confucian temple which was a bit confucian (heh) as we thought Vietnam was a Buddhist country. The temple complex, which contained a beautiful temple and shrine, houses two taxidermied turtles. These were special turtle species unique to the lake and the Hanoi region. They were BIG turtles, now extinct, with the last one passing away in 2016. The turtle is quite revered, with a local myth involving the turtle serving as a sort of Lady of the Lake character, giving the king ‘Le Loi’ a magic sword called ‘Heaven’s Will’. Which sounds way cooler than Excalibur, which means ‘Hard cleft’ or ‘cut-steel’… I bet you weren’t expecting to learn some Arthurian facts in a blog post about Vietnam…but sometimes life’s a journey.
FUN VIETNAMESE FACT: In Vietnamese, instead of the days being named (Monday, Tuesday, etc.), the days are numbered! For example, Sunday would be ‘Day 1’, Monday – ‘Day 2’, and so on.
Tosh kept being harassed by the cobbler scammers. It was as if they knew we had a pair of shoes in our backpack that needed fixing! And so, after sorting out tickets for the Water Puppet Theatre evening show, we found a shoe repair shop that Tosh had previously scouted out. The cobbler there fixed Tosh’s sneakers for 50k – a bargain!
TRAVEL TIP: In Hanoi, there are guys with super glue and shoe-shine etc. They will stand in front of you, point down at your shoes, and attempt to fix your shoes. They’ll take your shoes and then charge you an exorbitant amount of money for the repair. So avoid and keep walking…assuming, however, you have shoes that work, in which case they may be onto something.
The Literature Temple was next on our list. It was a stunning complex dedicated to the sanctity of education in Vietnamese culture. Schools and universities have been an integral part of society for hundreds of years, and the old kingdom of Vietnam had developed a sophisticated system to elevate the brightest minds to work in the royal courts. It was an exquisite and peaceful place, with the chaos of the city utterly evaporating once you stepped inside the walls. As this year is the year of the dragon, a small exhibition of drawings and illustrations was erected in the main square of the temples. This occupied Tosh for quite a while. Now, remember the professional photos being taken along the lake? The number of people taking pictures inside the temple was insane. It seemed everyone had a photographer, art director, and a curator to construct the perfect photo. Please understand this is not an exaggeration.
We decided to walk back home and immerse ourselves in the old quarter a little more, which meant we stumbled upon the famous Train Street! This is a brilliant street, lined with cafés, restaurants, and a chromatic explosion of lanterns. I don’t think there’s a prettier street around. Lunch at a street café in a little alley was a local experience; they served chips, fried pork sausage, and jicama. What is jicama? It’s like if a potato and an apple had a secret yet passionate love affair. Quite tasty!
Our journey to the Water Puppet theatre led us to walking straight past Eric Andre, (Who’s that? Don’t worry about it.). Yeah, didn’t expect that one! The Water Puppet show was amazing…especially as we opted not to get the audio translation. We made up our own story. Sweet pastry and a drink at Hanoi House Café – Cocktail Bar rounded out our day. All in all, Hanoi has a lot to offer. Cannot recommend it enough.
Day 3
Our third day in Hanoi started as most often do, with a very hungry Sarah. So, we hurried to satiate it as quickly as we could. We’d seen Banh Baos offered for breakfast and it was all we could think about. But instead, we had to make do with what turned out to be another delicious find. Cheese cakes…well, cheese pancakes…or what we later found out ‘Coin Cakes’. Cakes made with a pancake batter with a mozzarella-like cheese in the middle for that stringy goodness. Refer to the photos below for evidence of happiness.
After breakfast, we opted for another café, this time at Coffee and Art Café. You may be wondering, is this blog post just a record of our foods and cafés…YES. We had to recoup our energy and prepare our blog posts. But not this blog post…this was written in the present, which would have been the future when we were in the café, but it’s talking about the past. Make sense?
To top off our day, we settled for a Cooking Class. Cooking classes are turning out to be one of the things we look forward to doing when we come to a new country or city. Rose Kitchen Cooking Class was an all-out great time. We walked the market selecting the ingredients for the dishes and dipped into the ‘wet’ market to have a look.
We were then bundled into a taxi to be dropped off… somewhere close to where we needed to be? There were a few confused minutes of walking around the backstreets, trying to find out where we actually needed to go, and then suddenly a young man appeared. “Cooking class?” he said. Tosh, startled, thought this was a rather odd way of getting hustled. But the very friendly young man was in fact part of our group. He led us through the warren of Hanoi streets and we were presented with a wonderfully homely kitchen. We made delicious food, had a blast, and left with full tummies. Perfect.
To end the night, we shared a quick drink at a bar that serves craft Hanoi beers (Pasteur Street Craft Beer – Hoan Kiem Taproom & Restaurant). We specifically went as there was live music playing that night. The singer was brilliant and the atmosphere was great as well. A little touristique, but worth a look.
